...today...

Ever have a day that makes you feel like you've been punched in the gut?

That leaves you feeling like your heart got ripped out and trampled on?

Like your head is about to explode because you can't stop thinking, yet you're not even sure what you are thinking?

That has you even more confused than ever?

That you can't decide if you really want back what you had, but can't make yourself give it up?

Thinking you want one thing, but opportunities begin coming your way, so you wonder if its best to hold on to something that isn't even a for sure thing but is very important to you, or to take the opportunities as they present themselves?

And when they do, you should be happy. And a part of you is excited but the other part questions every action?

Because when it comes right down to it, you're still confused, hurt, frustrated, unsure, insecure, and indecisive. And you don't know what is right. And you don't know what to do, because you're not sure what else you're willing to put yourself through. And if you let go...you've lost it forever...but you can't hold onto something forever that is no longer there... And when it really comes down to it, you try to convince yourself you're better off without what you want. You tell yourself lies. And then you realize them for what they are. And you can't get peace. And you can't let go. Even if you wanted to. But you don't really want to. But you do. But you don't know!

And you're stuck wondering... and praying you figure things out. Not knowing how long it will take.

THAT WAS TODAY.