I've been feeling a little lost lately. Lost in my own life. I felt like I made decisions that needed to be made, but now I just wonder if I'm just weak. I felt like I was supposed to pursue my dreams and hone my talents, but I feel like I haven't gotten very far in that direction.
Two months ago (seems crazy it was that long ago already) I started a new blog with the intent of my own little "Redo Me" to help me find myself. Well...THAT didn't last long! After just a few days I realized it wasn't quite the outlet I needed for myself. But the questions I had for myself then are just as relevant to me now.
I've struggled with trying to find "me" after high school. I felt like I had an identity with my friends and activities that kept me busy. Then after high school it was college with my roommates, and the mindset that I needed to graduate from college to make myself worth anything. And then I quit my job. And with quitting my job I lost my structure. And then I got married. And then school was becoming too much for my emotional and mental self (birth control I will forever blame you). And so I quit that too.
And now my best friends have all or will all be gone by December. Hannah is gone. Marisa is gone. Megan is gone. Tasha has been gone, will be back for a few months and then will be gone. And Alyssa will be gone in one week. I feel like I'm losing all these things in my life and I really don't know how to handle it. I'm becoming a recluse and a loner. yay...
I think - I should get a real job. And then I don't look for one because I'm afraid that it will keep me from having the time to do what I want to do (Photography). And I don't even think about going back to school. Blah. Not for awhile yet my friends.
Sorry for the rant. It's over now. Now to go find myself...
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Little Lost
Posted by Nellieloue23 at 1:40 AM
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4 comments:
Hold in there Jo! I know how you feel! Love you and miss you!
You don't know me really but I'm friends with Kimberly. I blog stock so sue me.
I just want you tell you that everyone goes through what you are going through. I've been graduated for 2 1/2 years. Its been tough but at the same time it's been great. I've learned so many things through my struggles. One thing I've learned is you can't base your happiness on your past and who is in and out of your life. Friends come and go but this is your life and you make it what you want. It's not easy, but lucky you you have a husband. Someone who is there for you and you can grow together, try new things and learn and love in new ways.
I know when you sit and look at everyone else life it seems like they have things all figured out, but everyone is trying to figure things out, and sometimes that means we are "lost" for a time, but we have a loving Savior who wants the best for us. Go to Him, find ways to serve others, reach out to people, and attend the temple, I promise your life may not be completely figured out, but it makes the journey so much more enjoyable.
Sounds like your having a hard time. You are very talented, and can do what you put your mind to. I miss you so much, and cannot wait to be back in rexburg just to see you and be close to you again!
I have been through this. I still go through it as a mother! I feel like i should start school but dont know what direction and how i could do it being a mother of two now....two young ones!
Your not alone. Hang in there. You will find your place :) Love you girl. Cannot wait to see you soon hopefully!
Ahh Hannah I love you too! Thanks for the many chats :)
Bekah - I totally blog stalk too, so no worries! And I think I've met you a time or two ;) Thanks so much for your words of wisdom!
Tasha - I'm going crazy without you here ;)
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