why are they settling?

I feel sad when I read Facebook posts, or have conversations with people who have really just settled with the relationship that they have. Now, I am not saying that Ryan is perfect, or that I am perfect, or that our relationship is perfect. And we of course have our struggles. I wish that he had more time to spend with me and he wishes he had a wife that would do the dishes more often. Haha - ok while I'm sure he really does wish this, I'm sure its not first on his list of things that we would want better in our marriage.

I can't help but cringe and feel a little bit of pity and awe that women are choosing to put themselves into and stay in these relationships. I know that it is hard to get out of an abusive, or manipulative relationship, or perhaps they are kidding themselves into thinking that their significant other will change their ways. While change is possible, and we ALL need to strive to be better, I believe it is also naive to go into a relationship hoping this will happen. I have been there and it doesn't work (and it wasn't even close to the level of what I'll share with you - I was 'lucky').

One of my FB "friends" who will remain anonymous, has just graduated high school yet is in a situation with her boyfriend where FB statuses like this are shared - one instant her BF is the best thing to ever grace the planet and the next he's a scumbag (did I mention that he spent some time in Juve? Red flag #1):

#1 When you look at your boyfriend, and all you can think is "d*bag." its probably time for a break. ♥
#2 When he's broken all the promises he's made to me. What's left?
#3 I love My Boyfriend. ♥
#4 Those moments when all he does is hug you & tell you he loves you. Those are the ones I live for. ♥
#5 That moment when he calls me selfish.. HA. I've done more for you than you could imagine kid.

I just SERIOUSLY don't get it. I feel bad for women in these situations who either WANT to be in them or don't know how to get out of them. I really don't understand. Why would you settle for this kind of a relationship when you could have one where:

Respect isn't just a song from back in the day
You Discuss rather than Fight
Love is more than a passing fancy
Name calling consists of 'baby, darling, honey, & sweetheart'
When times are hard you pray together.
The peace of mind that you aren't a one night stand, or that he might leave you in the morning.
(and so very very much more)

I feel so lucky that even in our imperfect marriage, we have a lot of great things going for us. 


When my dad and I were in the car together a few weeks ago he told me that I sure did pick me a good husband. 


And he couldn't be more right.